She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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