Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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