Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wish my penis had a tongue
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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