You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
