Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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