Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
