jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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