I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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