if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dicks are not precious.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
