is wine microwaveable?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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