I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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