he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize