physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
