How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
