You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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