It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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