we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
