I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
