I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize