EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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