just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
