There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
