omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
