Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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