Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
