Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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