I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
