I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
