Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
