New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
