My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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