Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize