Got a toothbrush?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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