Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im holly from the hills drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
