i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There r osticjed everywhere
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
