I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Can I color on your dick again?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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