Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
