I need help removing her.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
