You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
