O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
