I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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