How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
