Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
