I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
