Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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