i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize