eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
