apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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