i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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