This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
