Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
