Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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