Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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