butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
