never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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