somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think your dad took our porno
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
