hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
