I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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